10/16/19 ~ today i learned that i have hip dysplasia.. which is not the best news for a dancer, mover, athlete, whose life kinda revolves around constant high impact movement.
at first when i learned the news, i was overwhelmed by so many emotions and a little bit of shock. how is this something that i am just now learning about?… throughout my day, waves emotions have been visiting me and leaving, some coming back and staying for a while.. after learning this news i honestly don’t know how to feel. something i spent my life cultivating and deeply loving has become something that hinders and attacks my health longevity if not careful.
that something being dancing, moving.
but it’s interesting because inside the storm of emotions, i feel mostly calm. like a third person on the outside observing it all? trying listen, learn, figure it out or just be inside it all?
i don’t know what my next step will be regarding this news and my dance career, that’s already been so broken up by so many physical obstacles the universe has thrown my way.
i know despite all my physical challenges, throughout the many years, i’ve never been brought down to the ground. nothing really seems to keep me down, i guess. i just love dance with all my heart and i have to see my light through or something. even if it’s a slower more sensitive journey. ...but for now i am just going to sit with these emotions and this news. see if i can soon find some lotus petals in the mud. 🌺
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